I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
