Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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