I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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