The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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