she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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