omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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