i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
