Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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