Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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