i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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