grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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