drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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