that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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