the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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