HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
