I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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