That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
