Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
