Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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