So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
