It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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