dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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