I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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