margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
