Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
