Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
