sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
