Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
