All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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