Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
