We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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