she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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