I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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