It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
