Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
