in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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