Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Everclear isn't food dammit
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
