i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
