somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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