the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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