And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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