We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
