Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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