no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it fun? or sober?
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