last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
