It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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