I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
