ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
