one two three fourrrrnication!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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