How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
