This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
