so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
