Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
