sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize