3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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