Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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